Mind your PEEs and Qs

We’ve all seen them on freeway ramps and in trash-filled corners: bottles filled with a yellowish-brown liquid. Pee bottles. Just the thing the roadside trash clean-up volunteers want to deal with, I’m sure.

As much as I hate to admit it, the vast majority of them are left there by truck drivers.

I think it’s as disgusting as any other normal person does, but I also understand why someone would need to pee in a bottle. You see, I’ve been a truck driver for more than a decade and I’ve been in situations where, well, I just couldn’t hold it any more.

You see, truckers travel. Rest areas don’t. Most trucks don’t come with the conveniences of an RV–which means that most trucks don’t have bathrooms. After a number of close calls, I started carrying a small porta-potty in my truck. But for the average trucker, it’s pee bottles and, for the ladies, pee cups.

There is a truck stop in Washington state east of Seattle that has signs posted around the parking lot that have a picture of a gallon milk jug filled with pee and the words “this is not a toilet.” I don’t blame them for that. Anyone who has gotten out of a truck in a truck stop parking lot in the summer knows what the smell of urine on hot pavement can do to an otherwise pleasant afternoon. I had a driver tell me that the first time he took his wife with him on the road, she got out of the truck, scrunched up her nose and said, “oooh–what’s that smell? It’s nasty.” She got that right.

Lady truck drivers often share tips on peeing. I knew one driver who could pee in a pop can–a pretty amazing feat for a woman. I knew another driver who stopped at a specific truck stop often and would go in a buy the Big Cup to go. She wouldn’t drink the pop, but she’d stash the cup for use later. You have to understand, women can’t just go outside in broad daylight and hope to be subtle.

I knew a driver who, instead of a bottle, would use a Zip-Lock bag. He swore by them- no other brand would do. He said he had tossed a full Zip-Lock out the window on the roll and it didn’t break. Now that’s a testimonial.

My husband has used bottles when in need. He always made a point of disposing of the waste in a truck stop toilet later. The problem was that until “later” came, they were in the truck. One time–and ONLY one time–the bottle somehow ended up in our seat-side cooler, the one we kept cold drinks in to grab while we were driving. I happened to be driving and reached in for a bottle of water. Because I was driving, I didn’t see that what was in the bottle wasn’t exactly purified. I brought the bottle to my lips but no further before realizing that… water just doesn’t smell that way.

So, you see, there is more to the story of those bottles on the side of the road than you thought. There’s probably more than you wanted to know. Next time you use your toilet, appreciate it. I know I will.

Tags: Pee Bottles, Truck Drivers, Truck Driving, Rest Areas